Love and Labels

In retail/department stores, there are different classifications, sub-departments and between those departments, there are different variations of materials, style and colors. During the inventory, it helps the stock controllers adjust the discrepancies or the problems within the stock.

Now that was the retailer’s perspective, but usually, we have the consumer’s perspective.Everyone is a consumer, but not everyone can be literally a retailer.

In our everyday lives, departments and divisions help to filter the things we need to look for. Take for example the grocery store, imagine if every item is arranged alphabetically, it would be a total chaos. The reason they have specific sections for Dairies, Sweets, Toiletries, Frozen food keeps our lives easier by a minute.

By this time, you might think and say these are all common sense – usually, we unconsciously forget the simple things until it was reminded to us. Tricks look so simple after magicians revealed the technique – but left us either dumbfounded or amazed during the performance.

This short blog is about humanity’s dependence about labels and how it affects relationships or how we view relationships (either with a partner or with a group). Labels are society’s one way of accepting or rejecting an idea. Labels keep our lives easier but at some point, the labelled people are having a hard time.

Topics for labelled people or labelled groups are so wide that separate sub-topics are already covered for sure in a plethora of websites, blogs and articles.

Variations can be religion, culture, race, gender and other topics.

All are very sensitive issues and probably everyone has their own opinions based on conspiracies or maybe based on facts.

Labels does not only helps us to recognize, choose and reject the things we think are necessary, materialistically speaking, but like said before, socially as well. In a small community, sub-groups can be highly noticed depending on the label.

Let’s say the work environment is a small community. Race is definitely a form of “label”. Working outside the country in a multi-cultured environment can be challenging – most especially if it was the first time. You meet people with a different culture, with a different language and with a different religion maybe, outside your comfort zone. It is going to be a full adjustment on your side. The first thing you’ll look after are the people in the same race. Why? Finding people in the same race can filter the closest culture, language and religion. Same race = same other sub-labels in a community, mostly.

With labels, finding a group or a category we can be a part of makes it a hell lot easier. Though with every pros, comes cons.

The dominant people in these groups can take advantage of those who are lost and trying to find somewhere they belong. Songs like “Somewhere I belong” by Linkin Park and “Creep” by Radiohead – defines how us humans are struggling to find groups and how we fear for being ostracized (banished from societies). Just imagine how the third sex struggles for acceptance in a conservative, religious country. Same as the request for labels between being boyfriend, girlfriend into husband and wife and the best example maybe is the battle for position in terms of hierarchy of labels in a company (manager, directors, assistant, etc.)

According to the book of a psychologist named David Raney, “As a primate, you are keen to social cues that portend your possible ostracism from an in-group. In the wild, banishment equals death. So it follows that YOU WORK TO FEEL INCLUDED because the feeling of being left out, being the last to know, being the only one not invited to the party, is a deep and severe wound to your emotional core.” – Let’s face it, even the most introverted person needed a group somehow. Well a conference of introverts is hard to imagine, but I can see different people in hoodies holding a phone, wearing earphones sitting in dividers clapping alone in their personal space bubble. Kind of weird and funny but I can consider myself as an occasional introvert – Ambivert maybe if it is the official term for that?

Anyways, the reason why people fall in love faster in an environment which they left out or alone for the first time is very much often.

Now in that same environment you are not so much familiar, you tend to be afraid of losing someone that possibly treats you not well enough just for the fear of being left out and alone again.

The solution can be well of in the mind as well, either we tend to get used to the person/group and wait to have a better treatment from that particular person/group, or find a better person/group.     As of July 2015, there are 7.3 billion people in the world – though more options means more confusion, choices are necessary to know what we really desire and how to have it.

Labels might be infuriating and a mess but labels are necessary that will always separate us from others but for now, we can depend on it as a human nature’s way of organizing things. 

Jesus! Even this post needs labels.

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Not perfect but meant to be.

                Ever heard of the old recurring story that goes like this:  “The spaces in your finger are meant to be filled with mine.” – Well actually… If there’s no spaces, there’s no fingers. Maybe. Or we’d all look like the Powerpuff Girls minus the 3 layered pupils:

                Kidding aside, I always wondered why there are spaces on pizza box. I love pizza and probably all of us do – And seeing that precious space wasted, makes me buy more of a square shaped pizza. No space wasted. Then I realized, if the weight of the square-shaped pizza is the same as the weight of a circle-shaped one, would that make any difference? Or am I one of those people living in an illusion that what we see should always be perfect.

                Marketing agents, advertisers, brokers, sales consultants and many other forms of selling experts have been fooling us on promising things we thought we need, but we really don’t. Making us think “this” is better than “that”. Making us believe on the quality we have lived before is going to be better if we take their offers. Some might be telling the truth, but mostly… I’m not sure of it.

                Nothing is perfect, I’m sure of that. So when something is not perfect, it’s perfectly meant to be that way. What a paradox. So confusing! If you have a score of 100 out 100, that doesn’t mean you know 100% of that subject you had a test. You had to answer all of the possible question on the subject matter. So what’s the point of perfection anyway? I’ll get back to that later.

                March 2013, I went to an educational training trip at United States that lasted 3-4 months. Looking back that time, what seems to be a short ride became one of the most important drives in my life. I met this girl. I didn’t even noticed her on our long way there. We were both committed that time, so maybe that’s one reason. Then few weeks later, I got a timeout on my relationship that time. Permanently. So I decided, to continue living. Our fridge is always full, the beer is most of the time free, we live near the beach and there’s an open Jacuzzi just in front of the hotel we’re staying. Moving on was never hard for me. I’ve been there a lot of times.

                Our group was mostly women with a ratio of 1 is to 5. We were 6 guys out of 30ish girls. We’re out numbered and that’s only on our cultural group. We we’re working with Latinas, Americans, and in the later month, with Russians. It’s a cultural exchange program so we are really having the most diverse experience on our simple lives that time.

                I was a baby sitter to 5 girls. We’ll not really, but I was like their big brother. Sort of. Since roommates have to be the same sex - 4 became partners, and 1 was left out. The left out one was the roommate of “the girl I met”, as I mentioned before.

                Actually, I’m constantly being involved or issued a few times in different ladies - So most of them already had a bad impression about me. I admit, I was very flirty, then. The girl I met had this impression about me. Probably she disliked me the moment she saw me. She told me I was arrogant, aggressive, bossy, flirty, and narcissist in some way. I never knew that before, but she admitted it later in our lives. It was so hilarious, it’s probably true.

                In some way, I liked her. She’s cute, but I find the need of understanding her obscureness. She’s quiet and mysterious. She doesn’t share personal details (unlike me who uses the “talk now, regret later” approach). Although of course she’s not really the boring type. It’s just that she makes sure she’s comfortable enough in order for her to trust you. All I know is that she’s very loyal and very kind. She’s willing to sacrifice her passion just to make her partner happy or content... Which I think she made a wrong choice that time. She’s a hard drinker. She was everything I’m not and everything I never thought I’d like.

                I’m a guy who loves debates, stories, movie reviews, staying at home, reading articles, listening to rock down to heavy metal up punks and post-rocks. While at that time I thought she’s into bars and drinks, adventures, selfies, Miley Cyrus, and stays away as much as possible into having a long conversation with anyone. I think I’m too deep (narcissist). The more I think about how we managed to get along, the more I understand. It’s not me who adjusted. It’s her who let her doors opened for me.

                When they broke up, she could just ignored me. I was not her type. I know that and of course she had a bad impression on me, and I had a bad introduction of myself as well. She ignored all the facts that I’m probably “just another guy”. I had been in a lot of relationships. She just had one serious. The fact that she’s 2 years ahead of me, makes me feel worst. Yet she made a bridge.

                Most of misunderstandings starts when you are talking, and the other one is already thinking on what would be his/her response. And not even understanding first. That’s where arguments bloom. We had misunderstandings but it never goes a long way. She was always the listener and I’m always the speaker. Like how she made that bridge, she understood more than I could to myself.

                To make it this story less long, we’ve been together after we went back home to our country. We just tried it out. We started on United States. She ignored the warnings of my other friends that knew me well - that I might just have hurt her and I did. The way she understands my bipolarity, the way she handles my misfits, my arrogance and my mistakes that other girls might consider it as a “no 2^nd chance” case.

                Although our relationship is still raw in the love cooking process, it’s boiling anyways. Understanding, communication, humility, kindness, trust, support and love – all these are the sources enough for fuelling the fire. I had let her down a few times, but she still believes in me. That I make mistakes. We’re not perfect.

                Perfection is a process. It’s more of a journey than a destination. The process of aiming an impossible goal is a never ending process for improvements. That’s what relationship is all about. It’s about not being the best, but being better than yesterday. That’s why I never agree on courtship because my girl used to say “Please don’t do things to me that I’ll get used to, if you’re not going to keep it constant.” – She reminds me what “perfection” should be like while I remind her of the movies she keeps on forgetting.

Blue's Clues lovely couple in real life. 

We’re not a perfect couple, but I know we’re meant to be. We’re working on it. Happy Valentines!

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A month of heaven, A year of hell.

If we were talking about 500 days of Summer. You will always be my Summer.. 

My flaming hate for you will never be extinguished. Your well said goodbyes and manipulative lies still linger deep onto my bones. It keeps me wondering why would such a person like you exist? You are the heaven to guys fond of one night stands, but hell to us guys who are gullible enough for you to take advantage on us. You never cared. You just cared for yourself and satisfaction. Attention feeds your soul whether it's good or bad publicity. You are a hypocrite. I'm not against teenage moms, nor to smokers, nor drinkers. But it's funny how you hate them before and look at you now.

I hope you've changed. Because if not, I'm scared about the future of your child. You used to be smart. So smart you destroyed everyone that believed in you. You're so smart that you let down a lot of your team mates because you think you can handle everything all by yourself.

You never distinguished the difference between reality and fantasy in your life. You always wanted the drama and attention from your hobbies, to your body, and up to your families and relationships. Remembered our last fight? I wanna punch you so bad because you keep on shouting to me about something stupid in front of a lot of people in the metro station. And few years later, I found out that you told everyone that I slapped you and hurt you in the public.

You always wanted everyone to be on your side, but the truth is.. Even with your full effort, they just can't believe your lies. No not everyone. Especially to those who knew me well. And everybody knows you're a bitch. When we broke up, most of the class congratulated me. Isn't it funny? They laugh at you, smoke with you and get drunk with you. But in the end, nobody wanna stay with you.

To me you're a contract to the devil. Joy for the moment then torment and suffering for eternity. You kissed my friend in front of me, and you kissed me when he left. I can't believe I still fell for you. You know why? Because even if I knew you fucked every guy friend that takes you to their private place (including my BEST FRIEND), I still have the hope to change you. Still, you fucking wasted all of my effort.

In the end, you never ceases to amaze me. I don't know how many dicks you sucked since you were 11. And all of my guy friends were a potential fuck buddy to you. You're eager to suck everyone's dick actually. I can never compare you to a hooker or to a porn star because I think they have better morals than you.

How could you sleep at night for all the hearts you broke and all the lies you told? You never bothered to apologize, but don't worry I don't need it. You are truly the work of the devil.

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Even the sky falls.

Ever wonder why an apple triggered Sir Isaac Newton. Well I do and I think it's the legality of the drugs that time.

"I dunno what I'm doing. lol" - Sir Isaac Newton

Ok, maybe Sir Newton wasn't high, but the apple is. But I thought if he saw a rain fall, he will already figure it out. I mean, he is the kind of guy that probably questions a lot of things in this world. Someone that will clearly object an unjustifiable law or could be the "exception" on some rules. You know. Like a resistant. Smart people resists against oppression or could be the part of oppression itself. Just an observation though.

So what is this all about? Even the sky falls. That apple fell to his head and that was one of the biggest change in history. Gravity. Even as small as a speck of dust, as light as leaves, as massive as thunderstorms. Everything falls. So why does people afraid of falling and letting go?

Help! Help! Heeeee.. Oh.

This is a scene of Aunt May in Spiderman 2. Apparently, falling from a building was definitely scary and tragically deadly. So let's cross that out on the list and let us talk metaphorically from this on forward. The problem really is that people is afraid of the unknown (here we go again). Why are we afraid of the dark? Because we can't see anything, or worse because we are seeing what we want to see which never existed in the first place. 

MOOOM! I see dead people. In the dark.
Shh go back to bed! Stop watching walking dead too much

Fear replaces what we actually see into what we don't want to see. So then again, why are we afraid in falling? We're gonna fall in love eventually anyways. Whether it's the wrong one or the right one. Just know our limitations. We can fall as light as a feather or as fragile as glass. It's up to our decisions. I choose to be the rain. Accumulated by the water from Earth, formed in the sky then fall back to Earth. Because it's natural for everything to fall. Give yourself a chance. You can be a cloud waiting for the right place to fall, don't hold back. Let it fall and if it that doesn't work out, you can climb in the sky again and fall. Who knows, you might stay there if things go smoothly or if you choose to stay.

The apple fell to Newton and it became as one of the best discoveries, It's your chance to discover or be discovered.

(This was inspired by this blog by the way: clickhere
It's really awesome and also I've been watching The Da Vinci Code movie and Isaac Newton made me think about gravity and all that stuff. I'm open for criticism, I know my grammar was horrible.)

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Te amo, cibum.

Wow, so Latin. Much amaze. Wow.

This "doge"  always pops out of my thought balloon every time I think about what am I gonna write next. Get out of here doge!

Anyways, what is this Te amo, cibum. I just searched about the latin word for "food" and it was "cibum". Now, you'll probably know where this is going. Why latin? Usually, root words for terminologies or scientific words comes from latin. words with suffixes "phile" is the best example. "Philia" or "phile" is connected to either things that people had a certain arousal or things that people love or having an obsession with.
Example:

Pluviophile- is a love for rain. A person that loves raining.
Retrophilia- love for things of the past
Necrophilia- sexually attracted to zombies. Ok zombies might not be the term, still doesn't make it less disgusting.

> Here's a list of all the philia's:
   http://www.packerwire.net/read.php?4,110356

Back to the topic, I searched for Cibum+Philia means love for food. Google suggested me to this

 

And I had this "Ooooh. Ok." *clicks suggestion* kind of face. Then I realize it was phobia not philia. To make this long story short, I was weirded out by the fact that there are people afraid on food? While most of the time I'm like:

That's not really how Cibophobia works. I just need to let this thought out. Anyways read more about cibophobia HERE.

**update**
I just also found out that sometimes, our phobias are not actually what it seems. For example if people have a fear of a certain food or food itself, either he:
1. Hates the taste;
2. Traumatic experience with the food;
3. Traumatic experience that had the presence of the food while the traumatic phenomena is occurring. or;
4. Traumatic experience so traumatic that it had to be replaced by a representation which happens to be an object or by this topic, a food.

Let say when I was 5, I was left in a grocery store in the vegetable section by my single mom. My mom never returned and I never knew what happened to her. Some guys kidnapped me and promised me that they will take care of me. It turned out that they will turn me into a circus freak and whip me like an animal during training. Now I'm will stay away to vegetables and sooner or later, I'd have a flashback of terrible experiences with vegetables and will make me become afraid of them due to the subconscious thought of my traumatic experience that so terrible, I need to redirect the part of my trauma into a less terrible phobia which is obviously, vegetables.

For better explanation, watch the last chapters of the movie "A fantastic fear of everything". It's actually a bad movie. I only watched it because of Simon Pegg.

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