Love and Labels

In retail/department stores, there are different classifications, sub-departments and between those departments, there are different variations of materials, style and colors. During the inventory, it helps the stock controllers adjust the discrepancies or the problems within the stock.

Now that was the retailer’s perspective, but usually, we have the consumer’s perspective.Everyone is a consumer, but not everyone can be literally a retailer.

In our everyday lives, departments and divisions help to filter the things we need to look for. Take for example the grocery store, imagine if every item is arranged alphabetically, it would be a total chaos. The reason they have specific sections for Dairies, Sweets, Toiletries, Frozen food keeps our lives easier by a minute.

By this time, you might think and say these are all common sense – usually, we unconsciously forget the simple things until it was reminded to us. Tricks look so simple after magicians revealed the technique – but left us either dumbfounded or amazed during the performance.

This short blog is about humanity’s dependence about labels and how it affects relationships or how we view relationships (either with a partner or with a group). Labels are society’s one way of accepting or rejecting an idea. Labels keep our lives easier but at some point, the labelled people are having a hard time.

Topics for labelled people or labelled groups are so wide that separate sub-topics are already covered for sure in a plethora of websites, blogs and articles.

Variations can be religion, culture, race, gender and other topics.

All are very sensitive issues and probably everyone has their own opinions based on conspiracies or maybe based on facts.

Labels does not only helps us to recognize, choose and reject the things we think are necessary, materialistically speaking, but like said before, socially as well. In a small community, sub-groups can be highly noticed depending on the label.

Let’s say the work environment is a small community. Race is definitely a form of “label”. Working outside the country in a multi-cultured environment can be challenging – most especially if it was the first time. You meet people with a different culture, with a different language and with a different religion maybe, outside your comfort zone. It is going to be a full adjustment on your side. The first thing you’ll look after are the people in the same race. Why? Finding people in the same race can filter the closest culture, language and religion. Same race = same other sub-labels in a community, mostly.

With labels, finding a group or a category we can be a part of makes it a hell lot easier. Though with every pros, comes cons.

The dominant people in these groups can take advantage of those who are lost and trying to find somewhere they belong. Songs like “Somewhere I belong” by Linkin Park and “Creep” by Radiohead – defines how us humans are struggling to find groups and how we fear for being ostracized (banished from societies). Just imagine how the third sex struggles for acceptance in a conservative, religious country. Same as the request for labels between being boyfriend, girlfriend into husband and wife and the best example maybe is the battle for position in terms of hierarchy of labels in a company (manager, directors, assistant, etc.)

According to the book of a psychologist named David Raney, “As a primate, you are keen to social cues that portend your possible ostracism from an in-group. In the wild, banishment equals death. So it follows that YOU WORK TO FEEL INCLUDED because the feeling of being left out, being the last to know, being the only one not invited to the party, is a deep and severe wound to your emotional core.” – Let’s face it, even the most introverted person needed a group somehow. Well a conference of introverts is hard to imagine, but I can see different people in hoodies holding a phone, wearing earphones sitting in dividers clapping alone in their personal space bubble. Kind of weird and funny but I can consider myself as an occasional introvert – Ambivert maybe if it is the official term for that?

Anyways, the reason why people fall in love faster in an environment which they left out or alone for the first time is very much often.

Now in that same environment you are not so much familiar, you tend to be afraid of losing someone that possibly treats you not well enough just for the fear of being left out and alone again.

The solution can be well of in the mind as well, either we tend to get used to the person/group and wait to have a better treatment from that particular person/group, or find a better person/group.     As of July 2015, there are 7.3 billion people in the world – though more options means more confusion, choices are necessary to know what we really desire and how to have it.

Labels might be infuriating and a mess but labels are necessary that will always separate us from others but for now, we can depend on it as a human nature’s way of organizing things. 

Jesus! Even this post needs labels.

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The 2nd gen OFW in the Family.

I grew up at the 90's in an average urban area of the streets in Metro Manila. I grew up the time where television shows were composed of Mexican Series and Japanese children's shows. I grew up where the children are mostly making the toys they want to play with, rather than having a lavish advanced screen breaking social practice at a young age. That time, like most kids are, we're sleeping at mid-day and playing late in the afternoon. We're making kites, playing with marbles and having a children's fight club... Hell, I even had several nose bleeds, few bruises and scratches just because of fist fights. And the next day, we're all friends again.

I remember, I grew up as quite-shy boy - Well whaddya know? I know already how to fake myself when I was young. In reality, my parents know I'm a pain in the ass. I always get lost on the shopping mall. I always try to sneak out during 'siesta' times. They've even locked me in the house, so I won't leave. The tables are turned and now most of us would rather stay locked at our rooms, declare a random nap time and our parents are the ones asking you to leave or go somewhere. 

Too much nostalgia during the children of the 90's, but then again generation changes. Now is the time of Millennials. Still, it's better to play outside for social practices and healthy reasons. Too much screen time can damage the eyes of an developing grade-schoolers. Then again, who am I to say such things? I was always having late night action adventures with my game boy advance back then. 

I didn't even had one of these! ;(

Other than game boy, I had these tubs of legos (and other similar building/puzzle toys) in my toddler to preschool years before the choking hazard rule was made.

My dad always buy me these kinds of toys. Of course these tactics works for me. Why? To keep me busy while he's gone. My dad was working abroad, even before I sprouted and poofed in this world. Once a year, he's coming to our home country in order to spend a full month with us. I never knew him that much before. All I know is he is a very responsible man and a father, religious and straightforward as well. We really never had the same mentality, only physical features probably. Minus the mustache. He has this thick mustache I wish I could have. I think it's suits my comical personality.

Being a son to an Overseas Filipino Worker - commonly known as the OFW, it was been always confusing how people see OFW's having a high status in our society/community. They have this stereotypical treatment that if one of your parents are working abroad, you must have been always lucky, should be always happy, or should always be giving.

Every year, we are programmed to ask for "pasalubong" to every person we know working abroad. We had set this expectations that whenever someone leaves, he/she should at least give something when that someone comes back. It's not a bad thing. It's our unique culture of being caring. It's not really about someone demands us to give something when we come back, but it's us thinking "I should have at least bring something" kind of mentality.

We Filipinos are known to be hospitable so probably that's one reason. We are also known to be over-dependent. We tend to stay with our parents, even if we have kids already. The parents are also too considerate about this as well.

Being a teenager, I realize that my dad was  a very nice and giving person. Most of the time, the people he cared and he gave a part of his earnings, never really appreciated him enough. Probably never thanked him properly. As if it was something he was obliged to do. Also, it felt to me that these people have no clue how difficult it is to be separated in your family to be a slave of a foreign person. The moment I understand that people will only care on what you can do for them, that was the moment I told to myself, I never want to work abroad.

Working abroad to me felt like announcing you won the lottery. You haven't took the prize, yet people are already in line for their share. I never liked the way people will ask the things they want first, rather than asking your condition. Funny how at a young age, we experience these kinds of people. Remember whenever a teacher announces "Class, pop quiz. Get 1/4th sheet of paper." Because you're a nerd and a boy scout, you took that paper and had a lot of extras. Suddenly all of the people beside you want some. The problem is, it's a daily habit YOU yourself keeps on repeating.

FOR CHRIST SAKE BUY YOUR OWN PAPERS!

Why? Because if you don't give, your a selfish prick. Why would you bring extras, if you don't have the intention to give it away. The society is abusive, I realize... and we the hard workers let them.

All these are just thoughts before, then when I ate my words and started working abroad - I was right all along. But I'm glad my friends never let me felt like I'm required to bring them something, just us complete was enough. Anyway, being one of the 2nd generation OFW, I asked the people I've worked with. It was kind of depressing to know that with a young age, mid-20's, they had a lot of responsibilities. They agree of the fact on how people will expect you to give. I felt very selfish and useless, but I will still hold on my doctrines. I will still keep on believing that we deserve to help ourselves first before helping others.

The logic is simple. If we're stuck in a pipe, how would you pull people up, if you are blocking. You need to pull yourself up first, then take the one below you. It's like the opposite crab mentality effect. Pull yourself up first, then take others along with you.

Ugh.

At the end of the day, we have our own ways on how we're blinded by the love, sympathy and care to others who appreciate us well, and to those who only care about what you give to them. I just hope that most people learn first that life is not as easy as ordering fast food.

I don't really care actually on what would people think of me. It's not about me, it's really about the people like my dad, like the nurses, like the ones who spent long time working rather than just drinking and partying, etc. The people who sacrificed their own pleasures to provide someone else's dream. I just wish that people who worked really hard for being too generous will get the credit they deserve. They deserve more appreciation, care, and at least the motivation to let them carry on and prosper.

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