Comparing Insecurities

Way back in 2010 or 2011, I have 2 college buddies; one we call “The Boss” and the other we call “The 2^nd Boss”. They called me “The Member”. Seems fair. Anyways, The Boss was very influential to me. He was one of the smartest people I know, but he choose the thug life or thug life chose him, rather. I can’t forget his words of wisdom back that year. His idea about the law of attraction was compared to the young children playing with their own toys. Wait that was kind of wrong. Alright, let me clarify his idea to the 2^nd paragraph below (with quotation marks and italicized font to make it look legit).


"The idea of us men wanting the same person is like how young boys show off their toys. Let say you have a very old homemade toy, and I just had a new one. I show it off to you, but it seems like you enjoy more the toy that at first, was dull and boring for me. Then I will get envious about your toy, thinking yours is better. Thus, this attraction would feel like ‘love at 2^nd sight’  It's like I like yours more cause you look happier."

The Boss, Circa 2011

Of course, children of the 90’s (and before) would relate about how we show off our inanimate toys that either choke us or would feel like land mines to step on. 

The most accurate feeling of stepping on a lego

Anyways, what he said was very simple and if we’d compare it to the present time, it'll be like phone and smartphone evolution. Before, we're happy if we can play snake and space impact. Now, if there's no 130 filters in a selfie settings, we ain't buying. Some of us are contented to what we already have, but most of us? WE WANT SOMETHING WE DON’T HAVE. Which, really... Why?

Envy and jealousy are the main reason that we will always feel insecure at some point. I know what you think… “It’s the ladies who never felt their body and natural face were enough” This is not a gender thing, my dear Watson. 

About a week ago, a study in United Kingdom surveyed men and women about how the perfect man would look like. Of course men’s answers would look like your typical Hollywood actor. Action star faced with a stripper body. 

What surprised the readers was 72% of the women surveyed, preferred the happy-go-lucky looking person, average arms, no abs and an average looking face. It kind a look like Seth Rogen, honestly.

Just add glasses 

The study suggests that as many as 62 percent of men in the UK are still persuaded that ladies would rather go for a man with "the gladiator look," and that many men suffer "pangs of anxiety when they fail to match up this image."  - women's ideal man

So yes, men are having the same insecurities like women. For me, the simplest solution in having doubts about ourselves is just stop comparing. Seriously.

First of all, models and actors are paid to look like what they are.

If we are paying to look like them, we lose already. Unless of course, if you want to change because you really want to, not because you are persuaded by the media, be happy and go get em’.

Second, we will always find something we don’t have that others have.

Wow I got a nice pair of shoes, but whoa he got a nice watch. Why can’t we all have nice things in the world? This way of thinking should get terminated. It’s a waste of brain space.

Third, appreciate what you have.

Greed is an addiction. It’s difficult to restrain in the latter years. Start early. Instead of finding things that makes you happy, learn to maximize what you already have. It doesn’t mean to suppress yourself from everything else, but to bring the most out of something before moving on to another.

Fourth, don’t let other people compare you from others also.

F**k them. Dammit. Stupid autocorrect. I meant fork them.

In the end, it’s your life. Either you drive, or someone else will. 

*link source of the survey: http://aplus.com/a/women-in-the-uk-describe-the-looks-of-a-perfect-man-and-it-s-not-what-most-men-would-think-?utm_campaign=i102&utm_source=a11303