Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Love and Labels



In retail/department stores, there are different classifications, sub-departments and between those departments, there are different variations of materials, style and colors. During the inventory, it helps the stock controllers adjust the discrepancies or the problems within the stock.

Now that was the retailer’s perspective, but usually, we have the consumer’s perspective.Everyone is a consumer, but not everyone can be literally a retailer.

In our everyday lives, departments and divisions help to filter the things we need to look for. Take for example the grocery store, imagine if every item is arranged alphabetically, it would be a total chaos. The reason they have specific sections for Dairies, Sweets, Toiletries, Frozen food keeps our lives easier by a minute.

By this time, you might think and say these are all common sense – usually, we unconsciously forget the simple things until it was reminded to us. Tricks look so simple after magicians revealed the technique – but left us either dumbfounded or amazed during the performance.

This short blog is about humanity’s dependence about labels and how it affects relationships or how we view relationships (either with a partner or with a group). Labels are society’s one way of accepting or rejecting an idea. Labels keep our lives easier but at some point, the labelled people are having a hard time.

Topics for labelled people or labelled groups are so wide that separate sub-topics are already covered for sure in a plethora of websites, blogs and articles.
Variations can be religion, culture, race, gender and other topics.

All are very sensitive issues and probably everyone has their own opinions based on conspiracies or maybe based on facts.

Labels does not only helps us to recognize, choose and reject the things we think are necessary, materialistically speaking, but like said before, socially as well. In a small community, sub-groups can be highly noticed depending on the label.

Let’s say the work environment is a small community. Race is definitely a form of “label”. Working outside the country in a multi-cultured environment can be challenging – most especially if it was the first time. You meet people with a different culture, with a different language and with a different religion maybe, outside your comfort zone. It is going to be a full adjustment on your side. The first thing you’ll look after are the people in the same race. Why? Finding people in the same race can filter the closest culture, language and religion. Same race = same other sub-labels in a community, mostly.

With labels, finding a group or a category we can be a part of makes it a hell lot easier. Though with every pros, comes cons.

The dominant people in these groups can take advantage of those who are lost and trying to find somewhere they belong. Songs like “Somewhere I belong” by Linkin Park and “Creep” by Radiohead – defines how us humans are struggling to find groups and how we fear for being ostracized (banished from societies). Just imagine how the third sex struggles for acceptance in a conservative, religious country. Same as the request for labels between being boyfriend, girlfriend into husband and wife and the best example maybe is the battle for position in terms of hierarchy of labels in a company (manager, directors, assistant, etc.)

According to the book of a psychologist named David Raney, “As a primate, you are keen to social cues that portend your possible ostracism from an in-group. In the wild, banishment equals death. So it follows that YOU WORK TO FEEL INCLUDED because the feeling of being left out, being the last to know, being the only one not invited to the party, is a deep and severe wound to your emotional core.” – Let’s face it, even the most introverted person needed a group somehow. Well a conference of introverts is hard to imagine, but I can see different people in hoodies holding a phone, wearing earphones sitting in dividers clapping alone in their personal space bubble. Kind of weird and funny but I can consider myself as an occasional introvert – Ambivert maybe if it is the official term for that?



Anyways, the reason why people fall in love faster in an environment which they left out or alone for the first time is very much often.

Now in that same environment you are not so much familiar, you tend to be afraid of losing someone that possibly treats you not well enough just for the fear of being left out and alone again.
The solution can be well of in the mind as well, either we tend to get used to the person/group and wait to have a better treatment from that particular person/group, or find a better person/group.     As of July 2015, there are 7.3 billion people in the world – though more options means more confusion, choices are necessary to know what we really desire and how to have it.

Labels might be infuriating and a mess but labels are necessary that will always separate us from others but for now, we can depend on it as a human nature’s way of organizing things. 

Jesus! Even this post needs labels.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Comparing Insecurities

Way back in 2010 or 2011, I have 2 college buddies; one we call “The Boss” and the other we call “The 2nd Boss”. They called me “The Member”. Seems fair. Anyways, The Boss was very influential to me. He was one of the smartest people I know, but he choose the thug life or thug life chose him, rather. I can’t forget his words of wisdom back that year. His idea about the law of attraction was compared to the young children playing with their own toys. Wait that was kind of wrong. Alright, let me clarify his idea to the 2nd paragraph below (with quotation marks and italicized font to make it look legit).


"The idea of us men wanting the same person is like how young boys show off their toys. Let say you have a very old homemade toy, and I just had a new one. I show it off to you, but it seems like you enjoy more the toy that at first, was dull and boring for me. Then I will get envious about your toy, thinking yours is better. Thus, this attraction would feel like ‘love at 2nd sight’  It's like I like yours more cause you look happier."


The Boss, Circa 2011

Of course, children of the 90’s (and before) would relate about how we show off our inanimate toys that either choke us or would feel like land mines to step on. 
The most accurate feeling of stepping on a lego



Anyways, what he said was very simple and if we’d compare it to the present time, it'll be like phone and smartphone evolution. Before, we're happy if we can play snake and space impact. Now, if there's no 130 filters in a selfie settings, we ain't buying. Some of us are contented to what we already have, but most of us? WE WANT SOMETHING WE DON’T HAVE. Which, really... Why?

Envy and jealousy are the main reason that we will always feel insecure at some point. I know what you think… “It’s the ladies who never felt their body and natural face were enough” This is not a gender thing, my dear Watson. 

About a week ago, a study in United Kingdom surveyed men and women about how the perfect man would look like. Of course men’s answers would look like your typical Hollywood actor. Action star faced with a stripper body. 

What surprised the readers was 72% of the women surveyed, preferred the happy-go-lucky looking person, average arms, no abs and an average looking face. It kind a look like Seth Rogen, honestly.

Just add glasses 

The study suggests that as many as 62 percent of men in the UK are still persuaded that ladies would rather go for a man with "the gladiator look," and that many men suffer "pangs of anxiety when they fail to match up this image."  - women's ideal man

So yes, men are having the same insecurities like women. For me, the simplest solution in having doubts about ourselves is just stop comparing. Seriously.

First of all, models and actors are paid to look like what they are.

If we are paying to look like them, we lose already. Unless of course, if you want to change because you really want to, not because you are persuaded by the media, be happy and go get em’.

Second, we will always find something we don’t have that others have.
Wow I got a nice pair of shoes, but whoa he got a nice watch. Why can’t we all have nice things in the world? This way of thinking should get terminated. It’s a waste of brain space.

Third, appreciate what you have.
Greed is an addiction. It’s difficult to restrain in the latter years. Start early. Instead of finding things that makes you happy, learn to maximize what you already have. It doesn’t mean to suppress yourself from everything else, but to bring the most out of something before moving on to another.

Fourth, don’t let other people compare you from others also.
F**k them. Dammit. Stupid autocorrect. I meant fork them.



In the end, it’s your life. Either you drive, or someone else will. 






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Blogs and notes with an awful grammar are my escape on over thinking about opinions, experiences and day dreams that keeps knocking on my brain especially just when I'm about to sleep. I'm probably the "Jack-of-all-trades" guy because I would probably never gonna be the best on what I'm doing.

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