The 2nd gen OFW in the Family.

I grew up at the 90's in an average urban area of the streets in Metro Manila. I grew up the time where television shows were composed of Mexican Series and Japanese children's shows. I grew up where the children are mostly making the toys they want to play with, rather than having a lavish advanced screen breaking social practice at a young age. That time, like most kids are, we're sleeping at mid-day and playing late in the afternoon. We're making kites, playing with marbles and having a children's fight club... Hell, I even had several nose bleeds, few bruises and scratches just because of fist fights. And the next day, we're all friends again.

I remember, I grew up as quite-shy boy - Well whaddya know? I know already how to fake myself when I was young. In reality, my parents know I'm a pain in the ass. I always get lost on the shopping mall. I always try to sneak out during 'siesta' times. They've even locked me in the house, so I won't leave. The tables are turned and now most of us would rather stay locked at our rooms, declare a random nap time and our parents are the ones asking you to leave or go somewhere. 

Too much nostalgia during the children of the 90's, but then again generation changes. Now is the time of Millennials. Still, it's better to play outside for social practices and healthy reasons. Too much screen time can damage the eyes of an developing grade-schoolers. Then again, who am I to say such things? I was always having late night action adventures with my game boy advance back then. 

I didn't even had one of these! ;(

Other than game boy, I had these tubs of legos (and other similar building/puzzle toys) in my toddler to preschool years before the choking hazard rule was made.

My dad always buy me these kinds of toys. Of course these tactics works for me. Why? To keep me busy while he's gone. My dad was working abroad, even before I sprouted and poofed in this world. Once a year, he's coming to our home country in order to spend a full month with us. I never knew him that much before. All I know is he is a very responsible man and a father, religious and straightforward as well. We really never had the same mentality, only physical features probably. Minus the mustache. He has this thick mustache I wish I could have. I think it's suits my comical personality.

Being a son to an Overseas Filipino Worker - commonly known as the OFW, it was been always confusing how people see OFW's having a high status in our society/community. They have this stereotypical treatment that if one of your parents are working abroad, you must have been always lucky, should be always happy, or should always be giving.

Every year, we are programmed to ask for "pasalubong" to every person we know working abroad. We had set this expectations that whenever someone leaves, he/she should at least give something when that someone comes back. It's not a bad thing. It's our unique culture of being caring. It's not really about someone demands us to give something when we come back, but it's us thinking "I should have at least bring something" kind of mentality.

We Filipinos are known to be hospitable so probably that's one reason. We are also known to be over-dependent. We tend to stay with our parents, even if we have kids already. The parents are also too considerate about this as well.

Being a teenager, I realize that my dad was  a very nice and giving person. Most of the time, the people he cared and he gave a part of his earnings, never really appreciated him enough. Probably never thanked him properly. As if it was something he was obliged to do. Also, it felt to me that these people have no clue how difficult it is to be separated in your family to be a slave of a foreign person. The moment I understand that people will only care on what you can do for them, that was the moment I told to myself, I never want to work abroad.

Working abroad to me felt like announcing you won the lottery. You haven't took the prize, yet people are already in line for their share. I never liked the way people will ask the things they want first, rather than asking your condition. Funny how at a young age, we experience these kinds of people. Remember whenever a teacher announces "Class, pop quiz. Get 1/4th sheet of paper." Because you're a nerd and a boy scout, you took that paper and had a lot of extras. Suddenly all of the people beside you want some. The problem is, it's a daily habit YOU yourself keeps on repeating.

FOR CHRIST SAKE BUY YOUR OWN PAPERS!

Why? Because if you don't give, your a selfish prick. Why would you bring extras, if you don't have the intention to give it away. The society is abusive, I realize... and we the hard workers let them.

All these are just thoughts before, then when I ate my words and started working abroad - I was right all along. But I'm glad my friends never let me felt like I'm required to bring them something, just us complete was enough. Anyway, being one of the 2nd generation OFW, I asked the people I've worked with. It was kind of depressing to know that with a young age, mid-20's, they had a lot of responsibilities. They agree of the fact on how people will expect you to give. I felt very selfish and useless, but I will still hold on my doctrines. I will still keep on believing that we deserve to help ourselves first before helping others.

The logic is simple. If we're stuck in a pipe, how would you pull people up, if you are blocking. You need to pull yourself up first, then take the one below you. It's like the opposite crab mentality effect. Pull yourself up first, then take others along with you.

Ugh.

At the end of the day, we have our own ways on how we're blinded by the love, sympathy and care to others who appreciate us well, and to those who only care about what you give to them. I just hope that most people learn first that life is not as easy as ordering fast food.

I don't really care actually on what would people think of me. It's not about me, it's really about the people like my dad, like the nurses, like the ones who spent long time working rather than just drinking and partying, etc. The people who sacrificed their own pleasures to provide someone else's dream. I just wish that people who worked really hard for being too generous will get the credit they deserve. They deserve more appreciation, care, and at least the motivation to let them carry on and prosper.

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Comparing Insecurities

Way back in 2010 or 2011, I have 2 college buddies; one we call “The Boss” and the other we call “The 2^nd Boss”. They called me “The Member”. Seems fair. Anyways, The Boss was very influential to me. He was one of the smartest people I know, but he choose the thug life or thug life chose him, rather. I can’t forget his words of wisdom back that year. His idea about the law of attraction was compared to the young children playing with their own toys. Wait that was kind of wrong. Alright, let me clarify his idea to the 2^nd paragraph below (with quotation marks and italicized font to make it look legit).


"The idea of us men wanting the same person is like how young boys show off their toys. Let say you have a very old homemade toy, and I just had a new one. I show it off to you, but it seems like you enjoy more the toy that at first, was dull and boring for me. Then I will get envious about your toy, thinking yours is better. Thus, this attraction would feel like ‘love at 2^nd sight’  It's like I like yours more cause you look happier."

The Boss, Circa 2011

Of course, children of the 90’s (and before) would relate about how we show off our inanimate toys that either choke us or would feel like land mines to step on. 

The most accurate feeling of stepping on a lego

Anyways, what he said was very simple and if we’d compare it to the present time, it'll be like phone and smartphone evolution. Before, we're happy if we can play snake and space impact. Now, if there's no 130 filters in a selfie settings, we ain't buying. Some of us are contented to what we already have, but most of us? WE WANT SOMETHING WE DON’T HAVE. Which, really... Why?

Envy and jealousy are the main reason that we will always feel insecure at some point. I know what you think… “It’s the ladies who never felt their body and natural face were enough” This is not a gender thing, my dear Watson. 

About a week ago, a study in United Kingdom surveyed men and women about how the perfect man would look like. Of course men’s answers would look like your typical Hollywood actor. Action star faced with a stripper body. 

What surprised the readers was 72% of the women surveyed, preferred the happy-go-lucky looking person, average arms, no abs and an average looking face. It kind a look like Seth Rogen, honestly.

Just add glasses 

The study suggests that as many as 62 percent of men in the UK are still persuaded that ladies would rather go for a man with "the gladiator look," and that many men suffer "pangs of anxiety when they fail to match up this image."  - women's ideal man

So yes, men are having the same insecurities like women. For me, the simplest solution in having doubts about ourselves is just stop comparing. Seriously.

First of all, models and actors are paid to look like what they are.

If we are paying to look like them, we lose already. Unless of course, if you want to change because you really want to, not because you are persuaded by the media, be happy and go get em’.

Second, we will always find something we don’t have that others have.

Wow I got a nice pair of shoes, but whoa he got a nice watch. Why can’t we all have nice things in the world? This way of thinking should get terminated. It’s a waste of brain space.

Third, appreciate what you have.

Greed is an addiction. It’s difficult to restrain in the latter years. Start early. Instead of finding things that makes you happy, learn to maximize what you already have. It doesn’t mean to suppress yourself from everything else, but to bring the most out of something before moving on to another.

Fourth, don’t let other people compare you from others also.

F**k them. Dammit. Stupid autocorrect. I meant fork them.

In the end, it’s your life. Either you drive, or someone else will. 

*link source of the survey: http://aplus.com/a/women-in-the-uk-describe-the-looks-of-a-perfect-man-and-it-s-not-what-most-men-would-think-?utm_campaign=i102&utm_source=a11303

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