Ever heard of the old recurring story that goes like this: “The spaces in your finger are meant to be filled with mine.” – Well actually… If there’s no spaces, there’s no fingers. Maybe. Or we’d all look like the Powerpuff Girls minus the 3 layered pupils:
Kidding
aside, I always wondered why there are spaces on pizza box. I love pizza and
probably all of us do – And seeing that precious space wasted, makes me buy
more of a square shaped pizza. No space wasted. Then I realized, if the weight
of the square-shaped pizza is the same as the weight of a circle-shaped one,
would that make any difference? Or am I one of those people living in an
illusion that what we see should always be perfect.
Marketing
agents, advertisers, brokers, sales consultants and many other forms of selling
experts have been fooling us on promising things we thought we need, but we
really don’t. Making us think “this” is better than “that”. Making us believe
on the quality we have lived before is going to be better if we take their
offers. Some might be telling the truth, but mostly… I’m not sure of it.
Nothing
is perfect, I’m sure of that. So when something is not perfect, it’s perfectly
meant to be that way. What a paradox. So confusing! If you have a score of 100
out 100, that doesn’t mean you know 100% of that subject you had a test. You
had to answer all of the possible question on the subject matter. So what’s the
point of perfection anyway? I’ll get back to that later.
March
2013, I went to an educational training trip at United States that lasted 3-4
months. Looking back that time, what seems to be a short ride became one of the
most important drives in my life. I met this girl. I didn’t even noticed her on
our long way there. We were both committed that time, so maybe that’s one
reason. Then few weeks later, I got a timeout on my relationship that time.
Permanently. So I decided, to continue living. Our fridge is always full, the
beer is most of the time free, we live near the beach and there’s an open Jacuzzi
just in front of the hotel we’re staying. Moving on was never hard for me. I’ve
been there a lot of times.
Our
group was mostly women with a ratio of 1 is to 5. We were 6 guys out of 30ish girls. We’re out numbered and that’s only on our cultural group. We we’re
working with Latinas, Americans, and in the later month, with Russians. It’s a
cultural exchange program so we are really having the most diverse experience
on our simple lives that time.
I
was a baby sitter to 5 girls. We’ll not really, but I was like their big
brother. Sort of. Since roommates have to be the same sex - 4 became partners,
and 1 was left out. The left out one was the roommate of “the girl I met”, as I
mentioned before.
Actually,
I’m constantly being involved or issued a few times in different ladies - So most of them already had a bad impression about me. I admit, I was very flirty, then. The girl I met had this impression about me. Probably she disliked me the
moment she saw me. She told me I was arrogant, aggressive, bossy, flirty, and
narcissist in some way. I never knew that before, but she admitted it later in our
lives. It was so hilarious, it’s probably true.
In
some way, I liked her. She’s cute, but I find the need of understanding her obscureness.
She’s quiet and mysterious. She doesn’t share personal details (unlike me who
uses the “talk now, regret later” approach). Although of course she’s not
really the boring type. It’s just that she makes sure she’s comfortable enough
in order for her to trust you. All I know is that she’s very loyal and very
kind. She’s willing to sacrifice her passion just to make her partner happy or
content... Which I think she made a wrong choice that time. She’s a hard drinker.
She was everything I’m not and everything I never thought I’d like.
I’m
a guy who loves debates, stories, movie reviews, staying at home, reading
articles, listening to rock down to heavy metal up punks and post-rocks. While
at that time I thought she’s into bars and drinks, adventures, selfies, Miley
Cyrus, and stays away as much as possible into having a long conversation with
anyone. I think I’m too deep (narcissist). The more I think about how we
managed to get along, the more I understand. It’s not me who adjusted. It’s her
who let her doors opened for me.
When
they broke up, she could just ignored me. I was not her type. I know that and of
course she had a bad impression on me, and I had a bad introduction of myself
as well. She ignored all the facts that I’m probably “just another guy”. I had
been in a lot of relationships. She just had one serious. The fact that she’s 2
years ahead of me, makes me feel worst. Yet she made a bridge.
Most
of misunderstandings starts when you are talking, and the other one is already
thinking on what would be his/her response. And not even understanding first. That’s
where arguments bloom. We had misunderstandings but it never goes a long way. She was always the listener and I’m always the speaker. Like how she made that bridge, she understood more than I could to myself.
To
make it this story less long, we’ve been together after we went back home to
our country. We just tried it out. We started on United States. She ignored the
warnings of my other friends that knew me well - that I might just have hurt her
and I did. The way she understands my bipolarity, the way she handles my misfits,
my arrogance and my mistakes that other girls might consider it as a “no 2nd
chance” case.
Although
our relationship is still raw in the love cooking process, it’s boiling
anyways. Understanding, communication, humility, kindness, trust, support and
love – all these are the sources enough for fuelling the fire. I had let her
down a few times, but she still believes in me. That I make mistakes. We’re not
perfect.
Perfection
is a process. It’s more of a journey than a destination. The process of aiming an
impossible goal is a never ending process for improvements. That’s what
relationship is all about. It’s about not being the best, but being better than
yesterday. That’s why I never agree on courtship because my girl used to say “Please
don’t do things to me that I’ll get used to, if you’re not going to keep it
constant.” – She reminds me what “perfection” should be like while I remind her
of the movies she keeps on forgetting.
 |
| Blue's Clues lovely couple in real life. |
We’re not a perfect
couple, but I know we’re meant to be. We’re working on it. Happy Valentines!
