In our lifetime, we might be able to know or befriend with somebody who happens to be either a drinker, a smoker, a stoner or all of the above. If you don't know one, congratulations! You are the one.
Everyone justifies their habit on why it is better than other vices. An alcoholic would say, better to drink than smoke, a smoker would say better smoke cigarettes than weeds, and a stoner would say.. depending on the type. A try hard would say, "smoke.weed.forevs" or "420 blaze it". A casual would say, "nobody died from weeds man. It's all conspiracy. It's safer than tobacco. It's an alternative medicine!". The best answers are the high ones. They won't care and just offer you a joint or a hit.
We have the nature to defend our habits and characteristics. We feel threatened when someone questions the things we do. Most reactions are "Only God can judge me" bullshit. Yeah, that's what criminals say to after they done a crime. To make them feel better on what they did. (Side note: In federal prisons, the United States, only 0.07% are Atheists. Most are Christians. Either they are already religious when they commit a crime or converting is their escape goat from judgement) Some acknowledge the bad effects, but most would compare it to a worse vice and then find small things that prove theirs are safe. Most lines were "I know someone who did what I'm doing until her 70's, and look at her! Still alive and well" - Bitch, she's 40 that looked like 70 from smoking too much. Or like my sample earlier "Better this than that which is much worse!"
I don't drink often, I tried smoking only a few times and I wanted to be a chill stoner but don't have the accessibility for the stuff. I thought I'm saved from these vices. From these addictions. The problem is, what we do we thought normal was on addicting scale already. We just can't see and accept it because it became part of our daily regime.
In a book I'm reading, You are now less dumb, I first encountered the term "Sunk Cost Fallacy". According to their site - You are not so smart (link), I quote:
In the chapter and in this article, one of the best example they had been Farmville. When it was famous back then, 84 million accounts/people had tried to play it. It was not because it was really fun, no. It was because of the time you need to spend and wait just for the virtual outcome which is the harvest, it's really hard to let go. Now, I noticed this also to the latest players of Clash of Clans. A social mini-game that devours your time. Because you need to watch over and protect your virtual civilization. The more you spend your time with it, the more you feel bad quitting. "I've spent so much, why would I stop now?". That's why you can't understand a friend of yours staying with his/her partner despite the toxicity level of their relationship. You ask them - "How could you stay this far this guy/girl?" That's the problem, they stayed that far. It's no longer the relationship their holding on to, but with their memories and the invested time, effort and money.
To cut the explanation short, sunk costs fallacy and addiction have a huge connection with investments and dependency. You have the urge to shop and shop. You hoard, yet you don't really wear it to often. You see a "SALE" sign, and suddenly you had the needs to buy a this and that. You felt that short rush of "happiness" having an item on discount. But do you really feel happy? Or you just need to feel happy because you know that you saved something. You felt that if you won't take this "limited" offer, you'd loss something big. When in fact, not buying on the first place will make you save more.
A lot of addictions starts young. Like shopping, we had distracted our productivity and prioritized addiction through games, television, pornography, gossips, gambling, selfies, social media and so on. Sounds harmless at first, but too little or too much of everything is obviously not good.
There are groups of each addiction and these simple bad habits in a community. The most overlooked addiction is the social media. Yes it's powerful in some way, especially connecting distant relationships, relatives or friends. Finding people and exposing frauds. A very powerful material indeed. Of course, with great power comes great irresponsibility - as Deadpool might suggest. Social media especially Facebook can be a home of every addiction I mentioned in this post. Shopping? Yes. Media, countless hours of watching stupidity. Check. Pornography? Lot's of ass twerking, caught in the act or just pages posting softcore. Good. Games or Gambling? 2008-2009 was one of those first years. Selfies and other forms of Narcissism? You will drown! Drugs? Please.
A great tool will always be used in an opposite direction. That's how sick and resourceful a human mind is. That's why I decided to quit Facebook a week ago. I'm getting withdrawals like a normal addict going in rehabilitation centres. I swear I had dreams a few times that I was opening my notifications. I haven't deactivated it yet, because of the photos and the people I need to talk to that depends on fb messenger. I made a public announcement that they can contact me directly to my email. It's really hard to quit. Especially for someone who have a good amount of attention through comments and likes. I just got tired feeling great every time someone liked my post. It feels so wrong, as if my life and esteem depends on it.
The easiest way to conquer withdrawals is having an attention to something else. In my case, reading and watching additional knowledge I know I can use someday, playing with creativity, analysing ordinary things and most importantly planning something to write, or just writing anything. Withdrawals happen when you force stop something you are used to without having another outlet. Not having another outlet means you don't really want to stop, because these withdrawals will be your excuse to go back to a bad habit you used to. Being addicted to anything is really depressing, but I know when there's a will, there's a way. When there's no will, excuses are everywhere.
Now, only one guy friend emails me every now and then. We talked in simple topics and it felt like the old times, pen and paper; or just like the first decade of the internet when emails are mainly used. We forward chain messages or attach a post card and shit like that. It's really funny. Having conversations through email made it more special, made it more unique again.
People take for granted the convenience of everything. Cutting off convenience sparks creativity, social skills and resourcefulness. Giving at least a small amount of effort to those who wants to reach you makes it more important. I'm a bit disappointed that only one person emailed me, and he's a friend through the social media. The ones who I befriended in real life, didn't tried contacting me. Disappointingly satisfying. At least for once in a while, you'd really miss a friend and you get to know more someone else in a way.
Well, hope this journey will do well with me and also for the people trying to quit their 'seemingly normal' bad habit. There's a first for everything, and endings leads to new beginnings. Stay productive, use your time wisely and find real happiness!
Everyone justifies their habit on why it is better than other vices. An alcoholic would say, better to drink than smoke, a smoker would say better smoke cigarettes than weeds, and a stoner would say.. depending on the type. A try hard would say, "smoke.weed.forevs" or "420 blaze it". A casual would say, "nobody died from weeds man. It's all conspiracy. It's safer than tobacco. It's an alternative medicine!". The best answers are the high ones. They won't care and just offer you a joint or a hit.
We have the nature to defend our habits and characteristics. We feel threatened when someone questions the things we do. Most reactions are "Only God can judge me" bullshit. Yeah, that's what criminals say to after they done a crime. To make them feel better on what they did. (Side note: In federal prisons, the United States, only 0.07% are Atheists. Most are Christians. Either they are already religious when they commit a crime or converting is their escape goat from judgement) Some acknowledge the bad effects, but most would compare it to a worse vice and then find small things that prove theirs are safe. Most lines were "I know someone who did what I'm doing until her 70's, and look at her! Still alive and well" - Bitch, she's 40 that looked like 70 from smoking too much. Or like my sample earlier "Better this than that which is much worse!"
I don't drink often, I tried smoking only a few times and I wanted to be a chill stoner but don't have the accessibility for the stuff. I thought I'm saved from these vices. From these addictions. The problem is, what we do we thought normal was on addicting scale already. We just can't see and accept it because it became part of our daily regime.
In a book I'm reading, You are now less dumb, I first encountered the term "Sunk Cost Fallacy". According to their site - You are not so smart (link), I quote:
The Misconception: You make rational decisions based on the future value of objects, investments and experiences.
The Truth: Your decisions are tainted by the emotional investments you accumulate, and the more you invest in something the harder it becomes to abandon it. "
In the chapter and in this article, one of the best example they had been Farmville. When it was famous back then, 84 million accounts/people had tried to play it. It was not because it was really fun, no. It was because of the time you need to spend and wait just for the virtual outcome which is the harvest, it's really hard to let go. Now, I noticed this also to the latest players of Clash of Clans. A social mini-game that devours your time. Because you need to watch over and protect your virtual civilization. The more you spend your time with it, the more you feel bad quitting. "I've spent so much, why would I stop now?". That's why you can't understand a friend of yours staying with his/her partner despite the toxicity level of their relationship. You ask them - "How could you stay this far this guy/girl?" That's the problem, they stayed that far. It's no longer the relationship their holding on to, but with their memories and the invested time, effort and money.
To cut the explanation short, sunk costs fallacy and addiction have a huge connection with investments and dependency. You have the urge to shop and shop. You hoard, yet you don't really wear it to often. You see a "SALE" sign, and suddenly you had the needs to buy a this and that. You felt that short rush of "happiness" having an item on discount. But do you really feel happy? Or you just need to feel happy because you know that you saved something. You felt that if you won't take this "limited" offer, you'd loss something big. When in fact, not buying on the first place will make you save more.
A lot of addictions starts young. Like shopping, we had distracted our productivity and prioritized addiction through games, television, pornography, gossips, gambling, selfies, social media and so on. Sounds harmless at first, but too little or too much of everything is obviously not good.
There are groups of each addiction and these simple bad habits in a community. The most overlooked addiction is the social media. Yes it's powerful in some way, especially connecting distant relationships, relatives or friends. Finding people and exposing frauds. A very powerful material indeed. Of course, with great power comes great irresponsibility - as Deadpool might suggest. Social media especially Facebook can be a home of every addiction I mentioned in this post. Shopping? Yes. Media, countless hours of watching stupidity. Check. Pornography? Lot's of ass twerking, caught in the act or just pages posting softcore. Good. Games or Gambling? 2008-2009 was one of those first years. Selfies and other forms of Narcissism? You will drown! Drugs? Please.
A great tool will always be used in an opposite direction. That's how sick and resourceful a human mind is. That's why I decided to quit Facebook a week ago. I'm getting withdrawals like a normal addict going in rehabilitation centres. I swear I had dreams a few times that I was opening my notifications. I haven't deactivated it yet, because of the photos and the people I need to talk to that depends on fb messenger. I made a public announcement that they can contact me directly to my email. It's really hard to quit. Especially for someone who have a good amount of attention through comments and likes. I just got tired feeling great every time someone liked my post. It feels so wrong, as if my life and esteem depends on it.
The easiest way to conquer withdrawals is having an attention to something else. In my case, reading and watching additional knowledge I know I can use someday, playing with creativity, analysing ordinary things and most importantly planning something to write, or just writing anything. Withdrawals happen when you force stop something you are used to without having another outlet. Not having another outlet means you don't really want to stop, because these withdrawals will be your excuse to go back to a bad habit you used to. Being addicted to anything is really depressing, but I know when there's a will, there's a way. When there's no will, excuses are everywhere.
Now, only one guy friend emails me every now and then. We talked in simple topics and it felt like the old times, pen and paper; or just like the first decade of the internet when emails are mainly used. We forward chain messages or attach a post card and shit like that. It's really funny. Having conversations through email made it more special, made it more unique again.
People take for granted the convenience of everything. Cutting off convenience sparks creativity, social skills and resourcefulness. Giving at least a small amount of effort to those who wants to reach you makes it more important. I'm a bit disappointed that only one person emailed me, and he's a friend through the social media. The ones who I befriended in real life, didn't tried contacting me. Disappointingly satisfying. At least for once in a while, you'd really miss a friend and you get to know more someone else in a way.
Well, hope this journey will do well with me and also for the people trying to quit their 'seemingly normal' bad habit. There's a first for everything, and endings leads to new beginnings. Stay productive, use your time wisely and find real happiness!
